Crazy status for whatsapp

Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her. And I am that ONE GUY.

When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be 'I left one million dollars in the. . . '.

For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept.

Always remember you are UNIQUE - Just like everybody else.

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

Girls work on their looks but not their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind.

I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really s3xy and my face hits the mirror.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking.

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D.

Eat - Sleep - Regret - Repeat.

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday.

Crazy status in English for Facebook and Whatsapp

The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I've got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death.

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I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying.

Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.

GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as 'Free Recharge'.

It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry.

After marriage, the other man's wife looks more beautiful.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth.

They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I'm making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius :-B.

I'm soo poor. . . I can't even pay attention.

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! .

Don't be happy. I don't Really forgive people,I just pretend like it's ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.

Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture.

Totally available! Please disturb me. .

Top Crazy status for FB in English

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet.

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed.

Please GOD if you can't make me slim, make my friends fat.

Save water - Drink beer!

Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me.

Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!

TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED.

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping.

Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software. . . it's called Monday, please fix it.

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

Only fools fall in love and I guess I'm one of them.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth. .

I'm jealous of my parents. . . I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs!

Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met….

Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write SAVE TREES on the same paper.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either.

Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.

Latest Crazy status in English

Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.

One day, I'm gonna make the onions cry.

At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :).

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol.

Single doesn't always mean available. .

I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.

I will kill you with my awesomeness. .

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

Waiting for Wi-Fi Network. .

Act crazy, don't regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! :).

Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life!

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

Boys, if you don't look like calvin klein models, don't expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association).

Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you d ordered that.

Move on. .

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Whoever says Good Morning on Monday's deserves to get slapped.

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me.

Popular Crazy status for Whatsapp

Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.

Kiss me and you will see how important I am.

We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police.

Think about it . . every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.

Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE WiFi connection.

WoW now I'm a graduate. . . Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.

Math Rule: If it seems easy, you're doing it wrong.

We are WTF generation . . . . WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D.

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

If you can't find the key to success, pick the lock.

If time does not wait for you, don't worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

Second chances are for losers, either we do it in first place or live it for others.